Yesterday was a long day. I set off at 7.30am and headed for Norwich Railway Station. It takes about an hour to walk from my house and I needed to get the 9am train to London. I went straight for the quiet carriage, which was almost empty, and passed the time by reading The God Delusion. Anyway, you don’t care about this. I have been keeping it pretty quiet on here but the plan was to try and meet Mackenzie Crook aka Gareth. I discovered that he’s in Jerusalem at the Apollo Theatre until mid-January so I decided such dire time constraints called for me to stoop lower than I have ever stooped before… I became an autograph hunter.
Now let me tell you, all the pre-conceptions about autograph hunters are true. I know what you’re thinking, how can I get on my pedestal when this entire blog is just a glorified autograph hunt? Well, there is one crucial difference between myself and a typical autograph hunter – I have a purpose. One lady actually had one of those little autograph books and this annoyed me. I have never seen anyone use one of those before in my life outside Disney World. What’s the point? What do you do with it? All that does is prove how boring you are that you voluntarily waste your life hanging around theatres so for five seconds you can be in the presence of a celebrity. Why do people care so much about saying they have met a famous person? You will never hear me say that on this blog. I am tracking people down because I respect them professionally, I love The Office, and it’s a genuine pleasure to meet the people who made it so brilliant. Another thing that got me was one bloke who tried making conversation with everyone. Why? We all know what the deal is, just let them get on with it and get inside. Do they think they will ever be mates with these people? I can’t stand autograph hunters.
After about 15 minutes or so, Mackenzie arrived and I kept to my word. I asked him politely to sign the DVDs which he did, and I managed to grab a cheeky picture just to prove I actually did get his signature. He seemed like a nice guy, but part of me is mortified that he just thought I was another crazy autograph hunter. I’m sorry I have to rant. Another thing that annoyed me – the others would crowd any actor who approached the theatre and get their autograph, but because I was only interested in Mackenzie I looked like the rude one. That’s the sort of crowd I’m dealing with, when you end up looking impolite for NOT stalking someone.
Anyway I was thrilled to get Mackenzie’s signature on the DVD, regardless of the method. But that’s not all. I had a pre-arranged meeting with another star of The Office later that day which I made my way to after a celebratory coffee and croissant from Starbucks.